


If I just lie here

by orphan_account



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter Parker, Irondad, Major Character Injury, Omg what did I just write, Other, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Suffering, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wow I need Peter Parker in my life, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23501077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: His body started to shiver violently in his mentors embrace, despite Tonys best efforts to keep him comfortable. ”I thought it would be painful—but Im-- numb,” Peter whispered after a moment of painful silence.Peter always imagined death to be a lonely processOh how wrong he was
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 106





	If I just lie here

It all happened to fast.

It couldn't have been more than thirty minutes between the moment when one of Tonys famous encouragements for doing a good job made Peters heart warm up in his chest to the haunting sound of his spine being crushed by the hard, concrete road that was still damp by last nights rain. The same rain that fell down on the dramatic windows that covered every inch of Tonys penthouse, and was celebrated by Peter as he tried to convince his mentor to take part in the bet for which heavy drop would make it all the way down the glass first.

If it wasn't for the seasonal cold that the teenager experienced about a week ago that he convinced Tony wasn't anything serious, his senses might have been able to signal that one of the aggressive creatures that the team had been fighting for the past hour or so, perhaps everything wouldn't have ended up so dark.

Perhaps Peter would have been able to see.

”Shit—Peter, no no no—what happened why—”

The distant voice echoed in the empty Brooklyn alley as Peters head tried to make sense of why it felt like the unbearable pain that he should have experienced after a fall like that, in fact did not bring any tears to his eyes. 

A low, gaging sound escaped his chest, desperately trying to just get whatever fluid that felt heavy in his desperate lungs out. But it seemed like his body had other plans, and could not decide upon what was more important. Getting the fluid out or the oxygen in.

It became clear that he was unable to do neither when he felt a strong pair of hands taking a forceful grip around what was left of his suit that had taken a lot of the impact from the fall, before making a desperate attempt to roll him over, so that it was his side that would face where his back was crushed underneath.

The unexpected motion was too overwhelming for Peter, and without a warning or even a hint he could feel his stomach emptying itself, followed by a round of heart wrenching gags.

”Thats blood, that fucking blood. Oh god no Peter, that clearly was pumped within you and I would like for it to stay there,” the same voice that even to a disorientated, concussed Peter could immediately recognize yelled.

What blood? If it wasn't so hard for the air to reach his lungs Peter probably would have asked Mr Stark why he was yelling. Why his hands was rushed to his face, and why it left behind a red mark where they had been pressed up against his cheek. Why did it feel sticky and wet?

”Wha—”

To his surprise Mr Starks voice suddenly got quiet, and it felt like the world stopped spinning.  
The background noise should have filled his head, but his mentors low and soothing voice was all his head could even try to focus on. Like it was all he needed.

”Hey kid. I know its hard for you to shut up for a second but I really need you to spare that energy of yours. Will you do that for me Peter?” he sounded too worried. Just like Tony was last Thanksgiving when Peter had been running a fever for over a week, or the week before Christmas when May and him had taken the teenager to ice skate for the first time in his life, only resulting in an unplanned trip to the MedBay where Dr Cho had confirmed two broken bones in his left leg. Lucky for him it was his bad leg, not the one he needed to kick Tonys ass in soccer.

”M´tired” Peter whispered directly followed by another round of uncontrollable gagging.

Suddenly his mentors touch was back, only this time his hand was reaching for Peters curls, gently. guiding his fingers through them.

”I know— I can imagine you are buddy, you can rest for a little while until Bruce arrives with the med team. But don't fall asleep OK? Peter—don´t disappear from me.” 

Everything was confusing for Peters mind. Usually Mr Stark always told him that he needed to fall asleep. He needed the few minutes of shut eye that he was able to get. He always told him on all those bad nights where they both sat on the sweat drenched covers from his recurring nightmares, where he held the teenager in his arms while sobs filled the quiet bedroom.

But now was the first time in a long time when Peters body screamed after sleep. He just wanted to shut his eyes.

”Can´t,” he mumbled. ”Cant see.”

The background noise grew louder, worried voices seemed to be everywhere.  
”Shit. The kid cant see! I—i think he hit his head too hard and—fuck he cant breathe. Steve he cant breathe.” 

His surroundings seemed to slow down again. Probably not a very good sign regarding his mental state, but to the teenager that was the best sensation in the world. How could he be able to sleep when that was the only thing his mentor had asked him not to do?

”The team is on its way, do you think he can hold on until then?” a voice that defiantly wasn't Mr Starks asked, making his mentor shake his head in terror.

”I— I don't know. All I know is that my fucking kid is bleeding out on this very street and if they do not fucking hurry up then—” the man who still had his hand in Peters hair burst out as his grip around the teenagers frame tightened, perhaps because he needs physical proof that his chest was still rising, even if it was critically unstable.

”Peter, please listen to my voice. Buddy, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes for me” Tony pleaded as he shifted slightly so that he could position the teenager close to his chest, a gesture that always calmed Peter down when everything became too much for him to deal with on his own.

Peter didn't realize that his eyes had been shut close, because everything was already too dark to notice the difference. The exhaustion that followed his attempts to make up for all the stress he had caused the man that held him so close hit him hard. Another hoarse groan left Peter, but his eyes remained closed.  
”We are not doing this right now—I cant— you have to open your eyes. I have never missed those chocolate colored eyes of yours more than I do right now and this is not the last time I will see them so please kid just—fuck just try for me, please?”

Frantically he started to rock them both back and forth, just like Tony always did after he first noticed how soothing the action was for both of them.

”Have I ever told you about what I first noticed when I first meet you in that apartment of yours Peter? It was in fact your eyes that first left an impression. Those wide, big eyes of yours that never left my mind. Perhaps because thats when I saw your desire to help— fuck— to help everyone that struggled or just wanted to hold onto someone. I never believed that bullshit of eyes being the mirror of the soul until you Peter—shit there was a lot of things I never believed in before you came into my life and—”

”Tony the team is coming as fast as they can but there will at least be another fifteen minutes until—”

”No thats too long Steve I—I don't think he can hold on for much longer. Steve he is really out of it and Im—” his voice cracked as another sob filled the air.

Peters heart has never felt as heavy as when the sound reached his ears.

”Im— im so lucky Mr Stark,” Peter suddenly could hear himself say, struggling to find a balance between forming the words and finding the strength to take the breaths that was so painful that he was dreading the inhales of the morning New York air.

Tonys attention was instantly on the kid—his kid as a broken expression was replacing the disbelieve.

”I hate to break it to you but I wouldn't call you lucky in this moment,” Tonys sobs was triggered all over again when his eyes caught Peters mouth curl into a weak smile.

A painful cough escaped that had been waiting to be released, followed by Tony carefully wiping away the fluid from his sore lips with his sleeve.

”M so lucky that I wont die alone. My parents had etch—etch other n I— I never thought I would, would have that. But— then May, n you saved me—”

Tony looked like this whole conversation was straight out of his recurrent nightmares, desperately trying to wake himself up only to discover that the kid was safe in his room, sleeping soundly.  
But no matter how hard he shut his eyes and opened them, the scene was still playing infront of his very eyes.

Tony wanted to scream at his kid that he was in fact not dying— that Tony himself would take him home and they would forget that the early morning never happened. But something within him knew that empty words did not matter right now.

”Peter I—im the one who's lucky. Alright? I am the one who has gotten to know the most talented, funny, hardworking and most genuine kid in Queens—in the whole world. All you got was a grumpy grandpa with drinking problems. But please Peter— please give me a chance to prove that I will do better. Please let me show you what the world has to offer. This is not the way everything was supposed to play out— Peter if you could just hold on we could—”

”Stop— no one can, can be better than—,” the words became slurred as the world felt too exhausting to hold to, ”no one better than you.”

”Peter, you have always been better. Always been and always will.”

Something wet landed on Peters right cheek, and he could not figure out if it was is own or if it was his mentors. It didn't matter anyway, but Peter hoped it was his more than anything.

His body started to shiver violently in his mentors embrace, despite Tonys best efforts to keep him comfortable. ”I thought it would be painful—but Im-- numb,” Peter whispered after a moment of painful silence.

Tonys eyes shut close again as he kissed the top of the kids head for a what it seemed like the thousand time.

”That makes me so happy Peter— you don't know how much that means to me,” Tony confessed, his words drowning in yelling and the cars that surrounded them. But in that moment, it felt like no one else was present or witnessed the scene.

”I love you Mr Tony.”

Tony smiled as he accepted the tears that streamed down his cheeks, wondering if they should bet which one of them would fall down first.

”I love you Peter. I love you— I love you, I love you, I freaking love you kid-” he repeated the words over and over again that was so unfamiliar for him until the kid came into his life. Repeated it like it would make up for all the times he didn't mention it. For all the times he didn't let Peter know how loved he was. How much the world, everyone in it appreciated and adored him. Overtime he never told peter that he was Tonys world.

”When I get you home I am going to spear the lecturing. I promise you— you wont hear a word about it until your spine is all patched up and you are good to go again. Not that I will let you out of my sight ever again but you get what I mean right?” Tony rambled, as he stroked the kids dust covered face that made him look even smaller where he lied with his curls against his mentors chest.

A long paus. A too long pause.

”Kid? Hey kid?” Tonys eyes flew open as he started to shake his body gently, seeking for one of Peters assuring answers that he always speared especially for May and Tony, but nothing came out. Nothing at all. Just that fucking pause.

”No no no no its not time yet! It is not your time yet— we still have so much— Peter you still have so much to look forward to please, no Peter please just tell me you are okay?”

Fingers pressing against his cold throat that was struggling only minutes ago, praying to someone somewhere that the sign of his Peter being alive will appear and save his world from falling apart.

”You will do great things Peter—the world needs you— I fucking need you kid so don't leave it all behind! You—please Peter I need you here, May needs you here. We need to see you grow up and go to collage. I need to see you graduate, change the world, get married and— and I need to see you grow old before—before my own time is up not, not yours. Please Peter we still need you—”

Tony, his face still buried in the kids locks as the feeling of screaming his head of and throwing up all over the blood covered ground overtakes his trembling body. Nothing matters, nothing matters because how can you even have the ability to breathe when the only thing that forces you out off bed every morning is gone? No-that isn't right because how can your purpose just disappear before you eyes? That-- that doesn't happen. Accident happen but they are always fixable, always manageable.

"Don't leave just yet Peter we need more time-- Im so sorry I--"

He throws up. His body completely shatters, but never letting go of the kid. He will never lose his grip.

"You were so good-- You did so good Peter. I am so sorry I asked so much out of you, it must have been so painful holding on for that long buddy. I just couldn't imagine, and I still can't imagine... just come back kid."

"You didn't go alone Peter. I part of me left with you, and that will always be with you."

**Author's Note:**

> imagine ever losing Peter like no thank you


End file.
